


Frail (You might as well be me)

by chains_archivist



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Boys in Chains, M/M, Preggie, Prison, abuse of English language, sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 23:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3466877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chains_archivist/pseuds/chains_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>by Emmuzka</p><p>Wufei is forced to face a situation that he can't bear, escape from or submit in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Dusk, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Boys in Chains](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Boys_in_Chains), which opened in 2000 as a multifandom archive for both fiction and art, but then sadly went offline in 2005. To bring the archive back, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2014. Open Doors [posted an announcement](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/1832) and e-mailed all creators about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please [contact the Open Doors committee](http://transformativeworks.org/contact/open%20doors).
> 
> \--
> 
> Pairings: Not really, but hints at 2x5, 3x4, possibly others.   
> Rating: PG for the subject matter   
> Summary: Summary: Wufei is forced to face a situation that he can't bear, escape from or submit in.   
> Warnings: Angst, sap, preggie, abuse of English language.   
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, their rightful owner do.   
> Note: Wu may seem a little ooc, but that will be (hopefully) explained in the story.

minus 273 days

Run! Smoke in his lungs. Hard to breathe. Got to get outside. Twenty seconds before the electric locks would activate again. If Duo baka didn't screw it up, that is. Fifteen… Ten…

He dived. The heavy door opened with a soft thud, not audible in the chaotic noise of full alarm. Wufei trotted to the lawn, avoiding the illuminated spots. Suddenly he was thrown in the ground. The guard dogs warned about themselves by growling only in the movies. He rolled and tried to kick the dog away, but dogs are more agile than humans. The huge rotweiller weighted probably the same that Wufei and it was not going to back of. The dog was all over him, reaching his throat, and if Wufei still had had his gun, he would have shot the dog. His hand searched something, anything, to use as a weapon against the dog. Barbed wire stung in his hand, cutting deep. He crabbed the wire and shoved it in the dog's mouth, as deep as he could. The rotweiller jumped and started to cough and claw, making muffled sounds. Wufei got up and continued to the fence.

He heard his hunters were near. He got the four meter high fence in his sight. Maybe he would be able to climb in the fence and jump of before the OZ soldiers would reach the clearing. He ran to the fence as fast as he could, preparing to jump in the fence without stopping. Then he heard the hum. That kind of hum that would only meant one thing: The power was back in the fence. He was running towards an electrocution. He stopped himself half a meter before the deadly fence. And raised his hands.

The soldiers escorted him into the cell. They tried to act hostile, man-handling him roughly, but they seemed to be in high spirit. They are celebrating for the capture of only one enemy? What for? He knew he was the only one since this had been a two-man mission and Duo could have shut down the electric locks only outside the compound. If he only could have handled the fence too. Wufei knew it was not Duo's fault: The blueprints of the estate had been over a year old and there had probably been new alterations.

The soldiers shoved him in. He started immediately to study his surroundings. Everything was white? This was not a prison cell. He quickly tried the door. For someone planning an escape, it would as well be a cell. No windows and a solid door without a keyhole. He now inspected the whole room and the tiny bathroom with it. White walls, white floors, a bed, a table, a chair… The first thing that came to Wufei's mind was that if the cliches were right, this could be a room in a mental hospital. But when he was in the hands of OZ, it was probably worse

He was left to his own devises in the night. There was nothing to do, so Wufei deducted it would be best just to sleep while he could. In the morning, or he presumed it was morning, since he had no watch or a source of daylight to confirm that, He was transported through the white corridors to a room that really looked like a hospital room, an examination room, to be precise. The soldier left the room and he was left with two middle-aged men with their white coats and a bulky security guard.

One of the white-coat-men approached him and came to stand still right in front of him. Wufei wasn't intimidated.

"You are prisoner Chang, Wufei. We are here to do you a full medical examination. We do not tolerate any resistance."

So they were doctors. Wufei kept staring at them, but his posture made it clear that he was not going to start arguing about the situation.

"First, take your clothes off." Wufei did that. Normally they would have given a gown at this point, but they didn't offer one. He didn't ask. He didn't let himself to be embarrassed or even self-conscious about standing naked in front of the men. He tolerated calmly the examination and the intense stare of the security guard like he think nothing of it, but silently he wondered what was happening. In his knowledge, prisoners were submitted to examinations only when there were some private party's interference, making sure that the prisoners were treated right. Surely that was not the case, because then the observer would have wanted to talk to him personally. Hmph. Like he was going to ask… His calm faltered when the other doctor took out a camera. If they wanted a reaction out of him, they sure got it.

"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?"

The doctor with the camera replied irritated "These are for documentation".

Wufei was already regretting the loss of his patience, but couldn't resist trying to turn this to victory. He took a pose and sneered at the cameradoctor.

"Take good ones, while you're at it, I know you take doubles for your private album, you pervert."

Hit and sink. The doctor looked like he was going to hit him, but had a second thought at the last moment. He finished quickly and stormed out of the room. The other one ordered him to dress and called the security to take him back to his room.

He sat on the metal bed face to the door and waited. He was ready to say it out loud, -well, not out loud, but to himself- that he hated the hospital environment. Give the prisoners to the mad scientists, make them nameless subjects, guinea pigs and white rabbits. That was historically requiring way to fight psychologically. This was only a charade, a futile attempt to mess with peoples mind.

Next time they came in the room they were prepared for resistance. There were ten of them, filling the whole room He managed to kick two of them before they subdued him and threw him in the bed. He was being held down by hands, legs and waist when he was injected in the hip. His struggling got weaker every second, then stopped.

minus 270 days

He woke up. It was not like he woke up from sleep, it was like he just woke to notice that he wasn't dead. He knew that this kind of nausea and sore throat were the signs of anesthesia, so he had probably been through a surgery. He tried to pinpoint the source of the ache in his body, but he could only locate it in somewhere in his mid-section. He tried to move. The result was small, he only managed to turn his head a little. Just trying to get a sense of his surroundings exhausted him and Wufei fell back to sleep.

The second time he came around he was much more coherent. He looked through the room. He was obviously monitored every way possible minus actually having somebody sit there by him and watch. He was not well enough to get off from the bed, so the first task would be to learn as much of the situation as possible. He critically inspected over his body. There have been made a major operation in his lower stomach area, but in his skin there were only two cuts, both only a couple of inches wide. There were also small fresh cuts in his upper arms. When he touched the stitches, he could feel small capsules under his skin in each cut. This was bad, very bad indeed. No, stupid baka, this was not "bad", this was horrible! Get out , get out, now! He managed to kept it cool, though his mind was screaming that something really wrong was happening here.

A stranger came to the room. She was a stylish woman in her 30's with a slight smile and confidence in her walk.

"Hi, Wufei, how are you doing? My name is Electra and I almost dare to say that in here, I'm your friend."

Wufei just looked her with cold eyes.

"You see, as you might have figured out, this is a facility for research, funded by OZ. Well, officially , that is, but I think that this whole project is for military's use only, at least for now." She smiled at him again.

So you think you can make "us" and "them" in only two sentences? You are as much of an enemy as the rest of them as long as proved otherwise. He kept staring.

"I'm your support person, or a liaison, if you will. The thing is- and I feel very privileged to be the one to tell you this- you are now a one of a kind. The military have studied the ways to produce offspring without female interference for four years now, and the results have been the most promising. If this experiment would succeed, and I know it will, it will change history. When reproducing can be separated from biological sex, the barriers between the culturally produced genders, the manifestations of men and women will fall!"

What on earth was the bitch babbling about?

She sobered for a moment, smiling again, this time sheepishly. "I'm sorry, but it makes me so overwhelmed. What I'm telling you is this: You are pregnant. You will have a child. And I will be here to support you all the way." She tried to take a hold of Wufei's hand, but he refused to be touched.

He answered calmly. "You are lying. You are all lying. Now get the hell out of my sight."

Her smile faltered. "I know that this is hard for you to understand, but you will. Eventually. I leave you be now. If you need anything, just call me and I see what I can do."

She left, obviously disappointed and almost slammed the door shut behind her.

He was left alone to think, which he did. Okay, now I know their lies and I have to figure out what they are truly planning on me…It was not possible. The science could build colonies in space and huge mechas with witch to fight freedom, but it could not have changed the deterministic places of men and women. Women were to bear children and men were to protect them. Men and women were themselves only halves, but together they were one. Science couldn't change something that was given by gods.

Wufei didn't believe anything the bitch had said, but something indeed was driving the medical personal to examine and measure him all that time. They fed him only healthy food, - too healthy, they find out, since he had lactose intolerance and he threw up all the milk products. They showed dozens of pills in little orange plastic cups for him and expected him to swallow them, no questions asked. He was furious. They told him that one explanation and they obviously had decided to stay with it, although their patient kept demanding the real reason for this.

minus 256 days

He was so frustrated! Why couldn't they just leave him alone/ He was once again escorted to the examination room for more probing and poking. Finally he snapped.

"No, you can't weight me. No, you can't measure me in any way, and you CAN'T TOUCH ME!"

He lowered his voice back to normal from screaming, but the tone was poisonous.

"You have obviously orders to not to hurt me, but who stops me from kicking the shit out of you? The only thing for you what's left is overpowering me and you really want to spend an half an hour per pill to shove them in my throat?" He snarled.

Remotely he noted that he acted not like himself. One time he was fine and the next moment he couldn't bear being touched. He had to think about this… Later.

The medical personal were really pissed off in that point. Yeah, like they were spending their time on him just for fun. He was not a paying customer, so why they kept expecting him to act like one. He was put back in his room. He sat down on the bed to wait for the bitch, just like several times before. The cold shoulder from the personal didn't bother him.

"Hi. I heard that you acted out again today. You know that it doesn't get you anywhere?"

"Yeah, it does, it got me to a better mood. Look, I'm smiling already!" He gave a morbid grin to underline his sarcasm.

Electra-bitch seemed lost. "Listen Wufei, you just have to endure, you know it's for the best of the baby. Look, you could just sit and relax, let us do all the worrying and concentrate for your baby."

"Oh, that will work, you just walz here and figure out that if you ASK NICELY, I would promise to be a nice boy and do what I'm told. In your dreams, onna!"

Now she got mad." It's always you, you selfish little bastard, always about you! Won't you ever think about the baby first!? Well, if you don't co-operate, we just have to try this again with one of your fellow pilots! They are not as hard to catch as they think they are! We caught you and you are only the first!"

Now Wufei sobered. He knew it was probably just a bluff, but he could not count on it." Okay, I'm sorry."

The bitch continued to rant.

"I SAID, I'm sorry! I wont be any trouble from now on."

She had tears in her eyes. "Really? Oh, Wufei, I'm so glad!"

Wufei suppressed a sigh. One battle lost, but in war, there were countless battles.

From that incident on, he didn't resist the examinations. –a lot. Otherwise, he behaved, -or didn't- in the way he liked He was bored. He felt anxious. Time to time, he tried to and often succeeded to amuse himself by throwing the food they gave him in the wall, braking furniture or stuffing the bathroom sink with a towel and creating a flood. He broke the big mirror that had been brought to his room to "help him maintain his self-image". There had to be psychologist behind that door somewhere… He felt nauseous and vomited on his bed sheets when he couldn't get to the bathroom in time. He sang. He could not remember when he had actually learnt to sing Ramsstein and Nine Inch Nails, but that had to be something he catched from Duo. He pretended to have a seizure or just started to moan holding his stomach just to summon the guards in and then attacking them. He stopped that after they started punishing him for that by turning the lights off for 24 hours. He stopped behaving irrationally and destructively too. He got tired easily. He also felt that he wasn't doing all that raving and shit to entertain himself anymore, but putting on a show for the scientists.

As weeks vent by, he learned to endure his imprisoned life with scheduled examinations and not much else. Days were dull and he returned back to calm and cool, creating a schedule for himself, complete with tai chi and kata exercises.

minus 218 days

Wufei woke up from his slumber. He just had to stop sleeping in daytime, no matter that there was not much else to do in the room. He groaned and rolled under the thin blanket, stretching his aching muscles. His muscles in his torso ached constantly these days. Suddenly Wufei was wide awake. Did he just rubbed his belly? Why the gesture? He was not pregnant, he was not... He was. Oh god, he was. There was something inside him, like worm that would eat him inside and grow bigger. His body was ravished, touched without a permission and now there was an unholy intruder in his body. INSIDE his body! He stumbled from the bed and hurried to the bathroom. He felt like throwing up. He tried to vomit in the sink but nothing came out. He stuck fingers in his throat and that finally made him vomit. He believed now. He was dishonored in a horrible way. He curled to the bathroom floor, where the guards later find him.


	2. Chapter 2

minus 217 days

"Hi, Wufei. Are you feeling better?" Bitch was kneeling on the floor, looking at him worriedly. The guards were at the door of the bathroom. "You know that we can't leave you unguarded in the bathroom for longer than ten minutes. We found you from the floor. Were you hit by a migraine? Or were you having dizyspells? We want only to help you and the child."

Wufei was now a lot calmer. He knew what he was going to do. The only honored thing that was left. The execution of his plan was only a matter of time so he would keep up with the bitch just a while.

Wufei stared at the white floor. "Yeah, I'm okay. I just.. I just realized, that I'm ..I'm pregnant, for real."

She smiled genuinely to him. "That's good to hear! Your attitude and participation in this is really important to the child. The baby can feel your moods, you know?"

The hell it can, thought Wufei. It's just a worm. "Really? So I should like .. talk to it, or something?" That was too much, she would never buy that...

"That would be really nice, but only if you want to." She beamed at him.

The stupid bitch is totally ignorant to the fact that I just threw up and then tell her that I did that BECAUSE I realised what was really going on..

She gently supported him and he managed to walk back to the bed with some dignity.

"I'm okay now, so.."

The Bitch didn't make a move to leave. Did she thought that he would spill his guts to her or something? He stood up carefully.

"I would like to be alone now. ..and talk to it." Oh my god, that was lame.

"Of course."

She wanted to help him to the bed and this time, he let her, just to get rid of her as quickly as possible. He wanted to be alone, he had a plan to finish.

An hour later he decided that it was safe to go to the bathroom again without anyone asking why. He made a quick inventory of what was available. No razors, of course, but that would not stop him. Toothpaste, mouth water with alcohol, alka-selzer, low-dosage ibuprofein, clerasil... what? Do you have zits when pregnant? Soap, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, moisturiser... thermometer? Without quicksilver, though. A couple of fake migraines and these would be plenty enough.

He was nice and quiet for next couple of days. He explained his sudden change of mood by migraines and stashed expertly all the medication he got for it. He also made a habit to go to the bathroom at least every two hours, so the guards monitoring him got used to see him disappear in the bathroom. He stretched the time he spent there and after six "alarms" the guards got tired on checking him after ten minutes and just let him feel nauseous at his own peace. Timing would be the most important thing in this, every minute would count.

minus 214 days

Wufei got up. Today was a good day. Today he would do it. Luck seemed to be in his side in the breakfast, because today there was sandwiches, not porridge. He smuggled some of them in the bathroom and ate rest. He got still his stomach full, because usually they tried to feed him so much food that he thought it was ridiculous. After lunch he disappeared in the bathroom again. It was now or never. This was against time. Wufei started with all the medications he had in the room, ibuprofein and parasetamol for headaches, anti-nausea drugs, mild sleeping pills... He swallowed all down and ate little to keep them there. He felt the rush immediately. Good, it made this whole lot easier. Next he gulped down the mouth water and clerasil, taking small bites of bread to keep them down. He was feeling really awful, now. Lastly he ate the soap and shower gel. He collapsed while opening the cap of the shampoo bottle. Then everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

minus 214 days

Wufei had been in the bathroom for 20 minutes until the guards went to check on him. And all the hell broke loose. He was moved immediately to the hospital ward. Wufei was unconscious the whole time, when they pumped his stomach and did everything they could to keep him breathing and the pregnancy going. Finally they managed to stabilise him and he shifted from deep unconscious state to drugged sleep. The danger was over but they continued to monitor the fetus. The most dangerous substance that Wufei had digested had actually been the soap, which produced a high fever, making him tremble under the blankets.

The scientists kept an emergency meeting and made a decision to add a strong anti-depressant in the subject's medication. The medication was already heavier than originally planned, with vitamins, anti-nausea medication, anti-rejection meds, cortisone, muscle relaxants and a loadful of hormones that spread slowly in the subject's blood from the capsules planted under his skin. Anti-depressant was still better than sedatives, because he should be kept mobile and active as long as possible for the sake of the child.

minus 206 days

Wufei woke up slowly. The lights hurt. Everything hurts. He tried to lift his hand to shadow his eyes just to find out that they were secured in the bed rails. Oh shit. Something was deeply wrong here. Something he was supposed to do. Then he remembered. Oh fuck. It didn't work, then. Too little time to digest the shit. He lifted his head when he heard steps. It was the bitch again.

"Hi, Wufei. I'm glad to find you awake."

She sat down in Wufei's bed. She seemed to be lost in words.

"I'm very disappointed, Wufei. I thought you were in high spirits. How could you try something like that?"

Wufei had enough of acting. He turned his eyes to the bitch.

"How could I not? You really think I would let you… tamper me without doing something about it. You stupid bitch! Who do you think you are coming here and saying how disappointed you are! Well, I'm disappointed, too, because I didn't succeed. Now get out of my sight, bitch!"

A moment she looked like she would cry, but then her face hardened.

"You fool! I was just trying to be nice! You are an evil man and should be punished of what you almost did! I hope you never see the baby when it is born!"

She stormed out of the room. Wufei sighted. What a foolish woman. Like he wanted to see the thing.

minus 204 days

He felt tired and couldn't concentrate on anything. He just lay on the hospital bed, fidgeting and pulling constantly his restrains. He was asked to stop. In other case, they would not have cared, but the restlessness raised his blood pressure. Finally they had to decide about either removing the restrains or putting him on sedatives for the time he had to spend in the hospital facility. The psychiatrist and Wufei's support liaison, Electra, voted for removal of the restrains. They put him on sedatives.

Wufei was returned to his room after two weeks. He had a high fewer for eating soap and his throat was very sore from the tube they forced down it for pumping his stomach. The fetus was monitored constantly and it seemed that it had probably not suffered anything permanent from Wufei's attempt. The room was cleaned throughout from anything remotely suspicious, which included almost everything that wasn't bolted on the floor. A security camera were added in his bathroom and he was watched very carefully while he took his medications.

He was introduced to another "specialist", a military psychiatrist, with who he was supposed to talk an hour a day. That did not start well. Wufei refused to make a conversation and after few times she got impatient with him.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Fine."

"Anything else?"

"… "

"You haven't washed your hair today"

". .."

"I have never seen it open before. .. Okay, that's it." She rose to leave.

A second Wufei felt panicked. "Don't go. Stay."

The psychiatrist looked actually relieved. "If you want me to stay, you have to talk to me. I'm not here to entertain you."

" I… Talking is hard."

"I know. Maybe we could start small. What did you have for breakfast this morning?"

"I had-" He had to actually think of that a moment. When every day was the same, the memories blurred." I had oatmeal today. How about you?"

They continued talking, just this and that. They talked the whole hour and continued the next day. In time the topics grew more serious, like the fact that the medical personnel systematically refused to talk to him when ever it was possible. He didn't particularly enjoy the conversations with the shrink, but they helped him to keep his mind clear. For him and the scientists behind the glass, the conversations fulfilled their purpose.

minus 185 days

Wufei continued his self-made training exercises. After many weeks, he noticed how his growing stomach started to affect his balance. Wufei reasoned with the psychiatrist that there was no justice in hurting the thing and promised to subdue to testing and not to try anything like the previous incident. The only thing that made him still freak out was the photograph documentation in every ten days. Most days he was calm, but, -like in children and women - he had his bad days, too. He knew now that it was because the massive amount of hormones he ate. The knowledge of that didn't make the irrational behaviour any more tolerable.

He realised how judging he had been stating that only women and men could form an union. What right he had to judge other pairings or determinate women with only their ability to reproduce? Everybody should have freedom to love whoever they choose and have a choice either to have children or not. Still he thought that bearing children was only for women. World was still very pathriarcal and chauvinistic. If men could produce offspring, what would happen to women?

minus 177 days

He was practising his katas like every morning. The previously soothing exercise made him now agitated and tired. He felt that his balance was really off of what it had been before, now that his stomach shifted his balance point. Beside that he felt clumsy and not with ease with his body. Mentally, he had find a fragile peace. He felt like a calm weather before the storm. When he thought it afterwards, he could not imagine why he had tried to kill himself. He could not see honour in that. He tried to concentrate. This morning his stomach muscles ached with constant pain. Suddenly he fell on the floor when a sudden cramp made him curl up. The cramping was so painful he had never experienced anything like that. His breathing came out harshly with a weeping noise and tears were running down his cheeks. He would do anything for the pain to stop! When the medics were running in his room, the last thought in his mind was that he had finally discovered the torturing method to make any man talk...

Wufei woke up with a sore throat and a headache that told him immediately that he had been in the surgery. Again. He opened his eyes and saw that he was not in his room but in another sterile looking pseudo-hospital room. There was nobody else here. Maybe he could sneak his way out of this hole... His hopes were crashed when he tried to move the rest of his body. His entire midsection was on fire. The tightnes in his stomach. He could tell that there were stitches, a lot of them. maybe they were forced to take the thing out? Probably not, he thought. He had developed a "feel" of the thing and the feeling was still there. He closed his eyes. They had explained their actions for him before, probably to lessen his stress level. They probably would explain this to him too. How great part they bothered to explain and what they kept from him, nowadays, he just didn't have the energy to care.

minus 176 days

"So, you are awake, that's good."

Oh great, the bitch again. He hated her but when the psychiatrist came to talk to him only twice a week now, she was his only line to real human interaction and little information. They talked almost every day now. She was naive and Wufei liked to made fun of her. They talked this and that and managed not to end up fighting over half of the times. After fighting with the Bitch - Electra, Wufei reminded himself - she punished him by leaving him by himself for a couple of days. Wufei new that for his sanity's sake, he got to have all the human contact he could have in this sterile enviroment.

She looked relieved.

"Now, Wufei, we had to perform a surgery on you. Your stomach muscles just couldn't handle the strain from the pregnancy so they cramped. We were expecting that and you had been consuming muscle relaxants for that for a quite while now. When you cramped as badly as you did yesterday, well, that showed us that it wasn't enough. In the surgery we cut some of your stomach muscles, so your stomach would have space to grow. The good news is, that now we are possibly able to restrict your muscle relaxants so you will be more energetic. Isn't that great?"

Wufei stared at the sealing. First time he had a feeling that he was so deep in this that there wasn't going back. His body would never be the same. He was weak now and maybe he would later get back in shape, but he would never again rise back in the level he had been before this mess. And what if the thing would somehow live? Maybe he could burn it with the biological vaste… .He tugged his ponytail nervously. Those hormones really fucked your mind over. Somehow he had savoured the thought that maybe everything would be the same after this. Now it could not be possible. Cutting the muscles were such a mutilation that it would never be repaired for as good as it was before.

minus 151 days

"Good morning!"

How the Bitch bothered? Wufei groaned and pulled his blanket over his head. He was tired and his back ached. Usually they let him sleep as long as he wanted and waking him up meant some alternation in the routine. A month ago he would had been secretly thrilled to be taken out his prison room to anywhere else, anything would be better than the same four walls. The thrill comes from the possible chance of an escape, he told himself, but a tiny voice in his head told that he could now get the same thrill from looking a green wall instead of a white one. He had thought himself before as a some kind of friend of a monotonous and unchanging life, but only a few months in the same little room had changed that. Now he felt that he hadn't got a strength to be even thrilled anymore.

"Go away. Let me sleep."

The perky Bitch would not give up. "But today is very special day, Wufei!"

Groaning he got up and went to the bathroom to change his pyjamas to a grey sweatshirt and trousers. He had become very body-shy and he pretended not to notice the security camera, although he felt the presence of the digital eye every time he was in the bathroom. He came out silent, not caring of what was supposed to be so important.

He was led to the room where they made the examinations in every three days. He was first weighted, just like always, but after that, he was told to just lay there and relax. The male doctor with the cold hands, -he was the only one who did not use surgical gloves when examining him and he did not want to know why- , pulled his shirt up and lowered his loose trousers to expose his stomach. He was always as humiliated by this as the first time they did it. It was somehow worse than the actual touching, the clinical exposing. But this time the Cold Hand did not only touch. Wufei woke up from his slumber and opened his eyes in surprise. Cold –something- on his stomach. Gel. Cold Hand had spread bluish gel on his torso. Wufei hold his breath. This was like that awful video in the sex education class he was forced to take in a school they where undercover at one time. In the video a loving couple had hold hands and cried for joy of seeing their offspring in a fuzzy grey picture in a computer screen. Ultrasound. That was the name of the operation. He looked at his side and saw a monitor. Shit. Thank gods he couldn't see the screen from where he lay. Cold Hands placed some microphone-looking devise in his stomach and moved it slowly. The bitch beamed and stared at the screen like a lunatic.

"Oh, this is so wonderful! Isn't it, Wufei?"

Wonderful? This? How? He could not imagine why this was supposed to be so heavenly. He remained silent and looked away from the monitor.

"...Aaand everything is looking good", Cold Hands stated. Yes, speak only for your selves…

"Could I listen to the heart?" The manic bitch was acting like they were a couple and she was the fussing father. Had the scientists yet noticed that she had lost some marbles, fantacizin about a happy family?

"Certainly".

A soft noise filled the room. He had never heard the sound like that before. It was like in times you got water in your ears, but this came with a fast rhythm. He did not want to hear it. He concentrated to his breathing and hoped this would end soon. He wanted back in his own room, to safety.


	4. Chapter 4

minus 145 days

There was a sound of a great explosion. Screaming. Coming towards his room. He sat on his bed and waited something to happen. He wished, wished, wished… The door slammed open. Heero! He slipped back in the soldier mode of thinking in seconds. Heero spared one over-all glance at him to search if he was in shape to manage on his own. If he was surprised by what he saw, he didn't say it. They ran to the labyrinth of corridors, moving as efficiently and quietly as they could. Heero didn't stop once to think which way to turn. There were broken glass and debris on the floor, but Wufei was so overwhelmed by the adrenaline surge rushing trough him that he didn't even feel the glass cutting his feet.

Suddenly Heero halted in the corner and Wufei slammed into him, unable to stop his movement in time. Heero glanced from behind the corner, got ready and jumped to shoot. The shots startled Wufei, who had to calm himself down a second before rushing after Heero.

In the corridor were one soldier, a scientist and the bitch. All were down, the soldier was dead. Wufei stopped his movement to watch them intensively. Heero heard something and rose his gun.

"Wufei!" Duo and Trowa rushed towards them. "You're okay? Quickly, the path is clear now!"

Duo and Trowa saw that Wufei was not in his full capacity and came to his aid. They ran by the kneeling man and woman. The scientist didn't dare to even rise his head to look at the terrorists, the soldiers blood splattered in his face was good enough reason for him to freeze and pray. The woman was not that smart.

"You can't leave me! What about the baby? We were supposed to be so happy!"

Wufei made a full stop and Trowa and Duo who were supporting him were forced to turn around with him. He gathered his strength and faced the bitch for the last time.

"You are mad, Bitch. I hope you die." He said in even voice.

Duo and Trowa were startled by that, but they kept it in themselves. There was a lot more important things to consider, mainly to how they all could get out of here intact.

Duo crabbed tighter hold of Wufei's arm and pulled him with him.

"Let's go already!"

They ran in to the compound and straight to the fence. Somehow Wufei had thought he was still in the same estate where he got captured, but now he saw that he wasn't. He had probably been transported immediately while he was unconscious for that first time. He tried to listen if the power was on in the fence, but noticed then that it didn't matter when he saw the escape route. The fence just wasn't there anymore in the length of twenty meters. They ran through to the escape vehicle, where Quatre was already waiting.

It was only in the safehouse they allowed themselves to breathe. Everybody's attention was now towards Wufei, they wanted to ensure for themselves that he really was standing there, after months of searching. But there was something different.

Duo got closer to him. "What's wrong with him? Is he sick?"

Quatre looked at him closer and almost poked his mid section. " What's happened to his stomach?"

Wufei crossed his hand over his stomach protectively. "Nothing's wrong with me. And Stop talking like I'm not in the room." I had enough of that lately.

They continued to gawk at him. Trowa was the one who fist came back to reality. "Isn't it kinda obvious? So, when is it due?"

The others just stared, at shock.

minus 144 days

They arrived in a bigger safehouse, which was actually one of Quatre's mansions. They had alerted Sally Po, who was already waiting for them. Sally hugged Wufei. And looked straight to his eyes.

"Hi, sweety. We missed you. I know that you are tired but could I make an medical examination on you? It will only take a moment."

As much as he would have liked to, he could not refuse. He nodded and quietly followed her.

She performed the examination as quickly as he could, keeping the air of professionalism in the small room meant for first aid. Wufei was embarrassed and couldn't stop fidgeting, answering her questions as calmly as he could and consentrating on keeping still while she treated his feet. She could not make an internal examination for obvious reasons, but she had somehow got an ultrasound machine. Wufei doubted that it was a standard apparatus in the manor and couldn't figure out where they had got it. He felt like refusing, but that would have looked so.. ..childish. So he endured. After that Sally let him go and he sneaked out of the room relieved. He felt that Sally had now some kind of power over him, her being a woman and a doctor. Now, he was the weak one. This is so unfair! Fuck! Why did this happened to him? He felt the self pity setting in. Oh, get a grip of yourself! Stop whining!

The other pilots were waiting for him.

Duo decided to take care of the obvious. "Hm. You must be hungry. We all are. Lets rob the kitchen, ne?"

They invaded the huge kitchen and raided the cabinets, looking their favourite foods. Carbohydrates were such a good relaxant. A moment later there was rice, cheesecake, biscuits, dark bread, danishes, sushi and noodles in the table. Duo loaded the coffee maker while trying not to chip a tooth on a half frozen chocolate cake.

"Take a chair, everybody! Let's eat!"

They managed to eat and have a light conversation without pressure. That would come later. Wufei smiled shyly and ate all the sweet, unhealthy foods that he had missed. A while later he coughed to catch their attention.

"I just wanted to say thank you to you all. I would never had survived without you. And thank you for rescuing me." He just had to add it. "And for keeping my privacy." That was a hint for not bugging him for their questions if anything was.

Quatre beamed at him. "I think that I can say this for all of us: You are welcome. We are glad to have you back!"

Wufei felt yet again relived. They actually rescued me. He was so helpless that he could not escape and he had to be rescued. In the other hand… They really cared him to execute a rescue mission. There was nothing for them from it, they knew that he would have rather died than told anything to the enemy.. So the reason for their mission was he and nothing else.

Those welcomed words were the only formalities he got and he was grateful for it. He retreated to his room and fell into the bed, falling into sleep immediately.

After finishing her notes Sally went to peek in Wufei's room, making sure he was alright. She turned to leave and bumped into Duo.

"What are you doing here?"

Duo flashed a smile at her. "The same as you are, it looks like."

"Well, he's fine. Unless.. Could you stay this night with him, just to be sure? I wouldn't like to leave him alone this soon, when we don't know anything about his – Condition."

"Yeah, sure. No problem." He tapped into the room and took a chair, sitting down comfortably and started to watch Wufei. He enjoyed every minute of it.

Sally felt safe to leave Duo watch over the sleeping boy and she went to find the one person she knew would have the information about this mess, if anyone had. She went straight to Heero's room. Heero was busy with his laptop, Trowa was sitting quietly in the bed. They both were not surprised to see her.

"You destroyed the files."

Heero nodded for answer.

"But not before you took the copies." That was not a question, that was a statement.

Heero nodded again and rose to let Sally sit in front of the computer.

"It's best for Wufei that you can reach his medical files".

Sally was already busy reading the documents. She was horrified and faschinated at the same time. Heero let her read in peace, after all, he had read it all already.

Se read forward. He had had at least two major surgeries. It was obvious that the pregnancy couldn't be terminated when it was continued this far.

"Those capsules in his arms... We cant take them out. They release hormones that are important to the ..baby." She smiled a tiniest smile. Wufei had been a real pain in the ass according to the scientists logs.

"With those hormones, no wonder that he has acted like such a bitch." Se realised that that was not a funny joke but she could not help herself. When she read the report of intoxication, she got serious.

"He tried to took his life, or at least the child's life. That is not at all like him. They got him on antidepressant after that and he has been taking them since. Maybe we should continue giving him them."

Both Heero and Trowa nodded in response.

"And about that attempt.. I don't think that Duo and Quatre would feel comfortable with the knowledge of that..."

The boys nodded again. After the file would be read, it would be destroyed. Sally wouldn't say a word as a doctor and Heero and Trowa did not want to share this intimate information with the rest of the team. It would be Wufei's decision to tell, if ever. She quickly looked through the photo documents. The boy subjected to the documentation surely didn't look much like proud Wufei but some anonymous victim, the camera seeing not the person but a body. She felt like trespassing on his privacy by just looking at them. These would be destroyed next.

The boys had been silent, but now Trowa raised his voice. "What about the father… uh, parent.. um, the other participant… shit." He couldn't see fatherhood, parenthood nor any kind of participation in the situation. He made a frustrated gesture. "Well, you know….?"

Sally looked through the files, but Heero answered him first. "No name, only description. European, tall, no genetically inherited diseases, IQ over 230."

That was it. No more information could be found. With these they couldn't find out the other genetic parent. Not that they would want to, but what if the other one knew of Wufei more than they knew of him?

minus 143 days

Wufei made himself comfortable in his room, witch had been waiting for him those four moths. He returned in his old habits as much as he could, pretending that life hadn't changed a bit. He thought that after all that boredom he would be thrilled to do something new or what ever he wanted, but much to his surprise, as well as the others, he looked for safety in documents. The stability fit well with the others, as they wanted to protect him as much as they could. Only Sally worried about it, because she thought that Wufei's manners where a reflection of the problems that prevented him from acting like his normal self. He studied all the missions done while he was gone, including his rescue mission. He learned that after he was kidnapped, he had just disappeared, period. The others had searched for him a long time, all in vain. Finally, after four months, they had received an anonymous hint of the whereabouts of him. Wufei suspected that it came from one of the scientists, but he couldn't be sure.

Wanted he or not, Wufei was constantly supervised. Trowa was secretly shamed of their hovering around. They acted natural, but they looked at him. That intrigued, faschinated look you could not control, like watching a child with serious birth defects, child which you love but can't stop looking with a horrid fashination. The thought depressed him and he made a point of acting natural around Wufei, in which he failed miserably. Of course, no-one noticed that, including Wufei.

Quatre admitted to himself that he almost envied Wufei. He would never experience the same as he, and would probably never have a child of his own flesh. Sometimes he wanted to scream to Wufei and accuse him of dismissing the treasure he carried. He knew it was childish and he tried hard to control himself around Wufei. They never talked about it, but Trowa seemed to sense what he was thinking, always dragging him away before he would explode.

To Heero, everything was quite the same. Wufei was Wufei and that's about it. He had always felt responsible for the others, so now in Wufei's case, the responsibility had just doubled. It was not like he would question Wufei's capabilities to handle this mission.

Duo was so happy to have Wufei back after months of uncertainty that he didn't care to worry about little things.

minus 122 days

It was very late hours, Duo noticed. He had again stayed up too late./ Well, few minutes more won't kill me. Duo tapped yawning to the kitchen to grab a bite. He stopped before the closed door. There was a wonderful smell in the air and it was coming from the kitchen. Cinnamon and butter. He opened the door and peeked in. What the--! He could not have been more surprised. Wufei was making pancaces, in the middle of the night, clothed only in boxers and a tanktop too tight around stomach. Duo just stand and stared.

Wufei turned around with a frying pan in his hand.

"What? I just liked to have pancaces so I made them. Want some?"

Duo nodded and sat down while Wufei put a plate before him. Duo was still confused.

"I didn't know you knew how to cook." He tasted one cake. "Cinnamon and apple! Heavenly!"

Wufei poured maple syrup, honey and chocolate sauce in his pancakes and started munching.

"I don't, but how hard can it be to take a cake mix and add some graded apple and cinnamon in it. I think these taste just fine."

Duo smiled. "I couldn't have done it", he said, catching himself before he got to ask why was Wufei playing domestic in the middle in the night and how on earth he tasted anything beneath the amount of syrup and sugar. Not too domestic, though, he pointed out to himself, since the kitchen was as messy as ever, dirty dishes everywhere. How could someone make a mess as big as this just making pancakes from a cake mix? Duo sighed and made a mental note to be late for breakfast next morning to avoid cleaning up the mess. Wufei would not do it, he knew that much about his friend.


	5. Chapter 5

minus 99 days

Wufei woke up with a feeling that he was hungry. Hungry and tired, but he could not both eat and sleep, so he decided to get up. He walked to the bathroom and stepped to the scale. He thought it was girlish thing to do, but he could not stop himself. Oh shit, he had gained weight a pound more since last time. Never mind that Sally said it was a good thing, he felt like an elephant. He looked himself at the mirror. A tired eyed boy with a greasy hair. He looked the full image and almost sniffed at the sight: A skinny boy with a ridiculously huge stomach in a laughable Hello Kitty pyjama top which hung in his knees. Okay, he told himself, get a grip! I'm not going to weep, I'm not going to look at that mirror ever again, I change and go to the breakfast.

The others had finished their breakfast a time ago when Duo got worried. Wufei had come to eat every morning, although he was usually late. But not this late. He went upstairs and knocked on Wufei's door.

"Wufei? Are you awake? Is something matter?"

When he heard no answer, he tried the handle. Locked. "Wufei, you know that we agreed that you don't lock your door anymore."

"Wufei?"

He knew the agreement had actually been pressured, with the other boys and Sally agreeing that Wufei should not lock himself anywhere anymore, just in case something would happen while he had locked himself in. Wufei had been strongly against this, but at the end the others just pushed through. After that no-one, even Heero had the guts to nag him about still once in a while locking the bathroom door.

Duo sat on the floor.

"Come on Wufei, open the door, it's just me."

He put an ear to the door and heard muffled sniffs.Oh boy, Wufei was in the emotional mood again. This could take time. He was surprised when the door opened only a moment later. Duo followed Wufei to the room and sat next to him on the bed. Wufei looked so kawaiji in that night shirt on, but he could not tease him about that in a moment like this.

At last Wufei got a hold of himself and wiped his face.

"I don't fit my fucking trousers anymore, damn it! Before I had just loosened them, took the belt of, but now... oh, fuck! I have not a single clothe which would fit me but this awful shirt", he said tugging the sleeve of his night shirt. It was a miracle that he had found it at all. It was a christmas present from Duo and he had then tossed the ugly too big shirt deep in his closet hoping he would never see it again. And now it was the only thing that fitted him...

"Oh come on, it's not so bad. We just go and buy you some new clothes! The cabin fever is getting on all of us, it's time to go to the town and do some shopping!"

"You go. I stay here."

"What, in your room? No way! Now come downstairs to eat, if I remember right, there is still some apple-and cinnamon pancakes left."

This time he pushed the right button.

"Oh, alright".

They arrived to the kitchen together. The other boys had stayed there to make sure Wufei was okay. The were surprised, though, when Wufei appeared in only his night shirt and a bath rope on. Every morning since the rescue he had come downstairs clothed and neat.

Duo decided that the shopping trip was in order, liked the others or not. He put on his "happy face", as he secretly called it, and told his plans to go to town and buy new clothes for Wufei. Wufei was still depressed.

"You go."

"Why? We certainly find you something to put on. Uh.. Trowa?"

" I think I have something that would fit..."

Wufei was NOT happy. "Duo, have you noticed that I am a man?!? I can't go!

People can't see me!"

No, you don't want the people to see you, Duo thought.

"That doesn't matter, Wufei! People see what they want to see! They will not see a pregnant boy, they see a pregnant girl."

"I don't want to be a girl!"

Now Duo was loosing patience. Wufei was being childish.

"Tough! Live with it! If you don't come, we will buy you only dresses, pink dresses."

Wufei shut up. Duo didn't lie, he probably would do just that. He frowned.

"Okay. But I am a rather boyish girl, or what"?

Nobody dared to argue about that one. But Duo had got his good mood back in a second.

"Just trust me, I can make you as believable girl as a real thing! Come on!"

He dragged Wufei back upstairs. First he ushered Wufei into the shower while he searched Trowas room for something that would fit. All he could find were grey old sweatpants and a sweatshirt, but they had to do.

Duo bounced in Wufei's room and stopped suddenly. The bathroom door was open and he could see Wufei standing in front of the mirror brushing his hair. The bath rope had been forgotten somewhere and Wufei had attempted to wrap a towel around himself with a little success. Duo hadn't actually seen his bare stomach before. It was huge and probably looked bigger than it was because obviously Wufei had lost weight everywhere else. For a second Duo thought war-children with too thin limbs and swollen stomach.

"Hey..."

Wufei jerked and wrapped the towel tighter around him.

"I got you clothes. Put them on so we can do something to that macho face of yours."

Wufei snorted, took the clothes and slammed the door closed. Wufei knew that the macho stint was a joke, but still he had liked it, somebody making observation of him being a man and not a woman.

When Wufei came out, Duo was already waiting.

"Now sit down."

Wufei sat but jumped right up when he saw what Duo had in his hands.

"Mascara!? No way I'm letting you turn me a some kind of a drag queen!"

Duo pushed him back to the chair.

"Relax, it's just this and nothing more. Did you not know that "Less is more"? And how else we are gonna make you look like a girl?"

"Oh. Okay..." Wufei was having problems on sitting still when something hovered so close to his eyes.

Oh, this is great, Duo thought. He had long lashes to start with, and with macara he was a real cutie! Flash those slashes, baby! Oops, better not to say that out loud....

"Hey Duo", Wufei said. He was almost afraid to ask.

"Just where did you got that mascara, anyhow?"

Duo was keeping himself busy.

"I stole it. I kind of thouhgt that this day would come so I thought better be prepared for it. "

With makeup in his lashes Wufei looked indeed more feminine, but needed something more.

"Wufei, where you keep your hair bands?"

Duo took four of them and with ease parted Wufei's hair in four sections, braiding them so that one braid hung in both sides of his face and the other two behind them. Definitely better. But yet something more was needed.

"Wufei, you still had those white silk scarves?"

"Yes, why? And they are not scarves they are for cleaning my knives. Hey! What are you doing?!"

Duo had taken one of the scarfs and now ripped it to four ribbons. He unbraided the ends of the braids and braided them again with the ribbons. In the ends he made a small bows. This was great! He dragged Wufei in front of a mirror.

Wufei could not believe his eyes. A different person, a girl, looked back to him in the mirror. Could he be transfered to look like a girl that easily? He hadn't time to think more because Duo was already dragging him down stars for others to see him.

Quatre was looking both Trowa and Heero.

"You know, Wufei hasn't said anything about what he will do later when the..."

They all knew what he meant. When the baby was born. That had not been discussed at all.

"I think that- " Quatre stopped when he noticed that his audience were not listening him anymore. He looked at the same direction, to the stairs, and his mouth opened. Down the stairs stepped Duo with a black haired girl with a grey clothes and white ribbons. She was lovely.

Wufei blushed. –"What are you staring at! It's just me, and I don't even look like a girl! ..That much..."

Duo grinned. If that was the reaction of his friends, Wufei would definitely pass as a girl, alright.

"Okay, lets go and get this trip over with!"


	6. Chapter 6

minus 99 days

Sharon heard the familiar Ding Dong-sound at the door and plastered a smile on her face. Okay, time to make the big sell of the day. Her moods dropped when she saw the shoppers but the practised smile lasted. Well, that was an interesting group. First she saw a pair of teenaged boys, a blond one and one with a long braid. She would like to have a braid like that too, she thought. Third came in a pretty little teenaged girl who was obviously pregnant. Oh, the potential customer. After her came two more boys, who backed the girl up like she was going to turn around and flee at any minute. She went to the girl.

"Hi my name is Sharon how can I help you?"

The girl looked like she wanted to be anywhere else but here. She couldn't understand why.

"She needs new clothes, the ones that fit him-her."

That was the braided one who had taken the role of a dedicated shopper.

Sharon didn't argue with him. She was here to sell, after all, and let's face it, she thought, the black haired girl's clothes were awful. She was really pretty in a tom-boyish way, but she sported a awful grey sweatshirt and baggy pants.

"As you can see, we have really lovely new dresses there-"

The girl interrupted her.

"No dresses. Just trousers and shirts. Black or white ones. And as simple as possible."

"Okay, then it would be simplest that you go to the dressing room and I bring the clothes to you. You size is 6?" She had just experienced the ultimate impossibility: a pregnant girl who hated shopping. She couldn't wait to tell the others.

They were the weirdest bunch of customers she had ever had. The girl didn't came out from the dressing room once. The boys managed to look like they were in a really wrong place and that they owned the damn shop at the same time. She could not guess who was the father, if any of them. The braided boy was the one who brought clothes to the girl and dug his head between the curtains to look how it was going, just to get a litanny of curses for his efforts. Still he looted around the shop and "oohed " and "aahed" to every garment he saw, including lingerie. Now he was taking out of the shelf a bright orange dress with yellow flowers in it. True, the girl would look lovely in it with her black hair and dark eyes, but somehow she doubted that she would choose it.

The blond boy was the only one who even looked at the baby clothes in the other end of the shop. That was strange, usually men and women both were faschinated about baby clothes, but in this time, only one of them even looked at them, a longing smile in his face. In the other hand the tall skinny boy with a weird hairdo could be the father, as some fathers looked as lost and dumbfouded as he a long after they were told the "happy news". The most potential father was although the last boy with the brown hair and blue eyes. It wasn't like he actually did anything to hint that but he was constantly watching the girl like he were somehow responsible for her safety. She was familiar with the new fathers tendency to be overprotective.

In the end they bought four pairs of black trousers and six shirts, black and white, as well as two maternity belts, which she had convinced the girl to try on. When she came out of the dressing room Sharon tried to pry her to buy some baby stuff and more lingerie but was rewarded with a glare which could freeze a volcano. All the clothes were paid by the blond boy. They left talking about eating and McDonald's and KFC and the braided boy was teasing the girl, something about how tastes changed when you were pregnant, getting smacked on the cheek by the "Potential-Father"-guy.

Sharon went back to the counter. The youngsters today, and still getting younger.Maybe there was a some kind of perverted group deal between them.. Probably not. Almost certainly that was only a bunch of kids were the girl had got herself knocked up and was too stupid to get an abortion. She stopped her thoughts right there. Just how cynical you could be? She wished the pretty girl best of luck.


	7. Chapter 7

minus 76 days

Wufei was practising some light katas in the garden. Or rather he was trying to. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't make them right. He stopped, not even finishing the series he had tried to perform. If I can't do them just right, there is no point of doing them at all. Okay, I just relax and meditate. But he could not do that either. He felt too hot and itchy all over and he couldn't control his too quick heart rate. He was now extremely irritated and when he added the mental image of how ridiculous he must look like he just lost it. He felt like he could punch something. He looked at the small greenhouse at the end of the garden. Without much thought, he went closer and picked a stone. And threw it in a one of the many windows of the greenhouse. He stopped only when there was no whole windows in the little house. Sally was looking for Wufei and arrived just to see the last window to brake and collapse in shards. Sally immediately took Wufei's arm and dragged him away from the threatening shards. She sat down on the grass and pulled Wufei to sit next to her.

"Okay, what's wrong?"

Maybe she would finally get Wufei to open up...

"It's that.." Wufei swallowed. "It's that I feel like I'm not a part of myself anymore... I mean... My body is stranger to me. I feel like this is a dream or that I'm in a wrong body. I didn't ask for this! They took me against my will, they implanted the thing in me, they restrained me when I tried... " He swallowed.

"It's okay, Wufei. I know you tried to kill the baby and ..yourself."

"Oh. They- they watched me all the time. You watch me all the time. You fear that I'm gonna do.. something... But I will not! I wasn't thinking then, I.."

"Wufei", Sally interrupted him gently. "Think about it. You were eating hormones that affected your mood seriously. You still are. It was not your fault."

"I'm huge, I'm ugly, I can't even do my katas anymore! My feet are swollen and I'm tired all the time. I don't want this! I have stretch marks, for god sake! They made this and now they are gone and I am still here!" Wufei let it all out, first time since his rescue.

Sally listened calmly, nodding and pointing to herself that Wufei still called the baby a "thing".

"Have you thought at all what are you gonna do when the baby is born. It's entirely up to you, you decide and no-one else."

Wufei wiped his eyes. "It goes to adoption. I don't even want to see it. No way. I didn't ask it, I don't want it."

"Oh."

Somehow Sally had thought that Wufei would think that the honourable thing would be to keep the child. In any other situation, she would have believed Wufei's statements by default, but she knew how screwed up the hormones were making him.

"Are you sure? You know that genetically the baby is half yours and as healthy as I can determinate at this point."

"Yes. This whole thing has taken an almost entire year from me and I don't let it take a day more than is absolutely necessary."

Sally sighed. So he has been thinking about this and he's made his decision. For now.

"Can I tell the others?"

"No. Don't tell them just yet."

Wufei wiped his eyes and got himself together. "I tell them myself . But not just yet…

minus 74 days

Wufei was munching his breakfast down in late afternoon. The others were obviously up to something but he was not in the mood to guess what it was. Duo, Quatre and Trowa were holding their smirks, waiting for something. That something was Heero, who arrived in the kitchen carrying something small that looked like a two piece communication radio. He put it on the table in front of Wufei.

"What's that supposed to be?"

The others were grinning like idiots. No, correct that, Quatre was smiling and Duo was grinning like an idiot. Heero just stayed silent, looking others in a way that told them that he had done his part and now it was their turn. Duo stepped forward and continued.

"It's a baby monitor! It was Quatre's idea and Heero made it! Now you have the honour to be an owner of the world's first military type baby monitor!"

Wufei stared at them. Finally he spoke in a restrained voice.

"What the fuck you think you are doing? If you thought even a second that I'm going to keep it, you were wrong!"

He stood up as quickly as he could manage and hurried away, leaving the stunned boys stare behind him.

Half an hour later Duo hesitantly knocked on Wufei's door and, when receiving no answer, stepped in.

"You are not keeping it? For sure?"

He could not stay angry at Duo for long.

"No, I'm not going to keep it, for sure", he answered tiredly. "It's not my place to try to took care of something I might not be able to love."

"But… How do you know that?"

Somehow he felt that he was required to give Duo an honest answer.

"They say that a mother loves the child even before it's born." He gulped. This was hard. "Well, I can feel it, but I can't say I love it. And I don't want to. So don't keep your hopes up that I would somehow fall in love with it as soon as I see it, because I'm planning not to see it at all."

Duo had hard time not to look as sad and disappointed as he felt. He had this crazy dream, where Wufei would need help taking care of the child and he would step in the life of Chang Wufei, in the whole meaning of the word. A crazy dream, now gone.

"That's...That's sad. But it's your decision and I -we honour it. You know that if you ever need somebody to talk to, if you ever feel bad, you can come to me."

He took Wufei's hand in his own to stress what he was saying.

"Thanks, Duo. I remember that."


	8. Chapter 8

minus 36 days

The days passed by and Wufei didn't even go outside anymore. He was tired all the time, but he couldn't care. It felt like his body had taken over, saying, First you sleep and eat something, and then I let you worry about life. He had no desire to leave the house. The others felt obligated to cheer him up and keep him company always when out of missions. The scientists had made a silent agreement with Sally Po that Wufei would not be bothered about, they having his full medical history. Sally didn't want to know what they planned to do with it.

Wufei was sitting comfortably in a huge armchair, reading "The Physiology of Taste " in the original language, France. Duo was doing something with paper. After Duo had been messing with the colourful paper over half an hour, Wufei finally asked what he was doing.

"I try to make origami's. I even have a book to guide me, but… Probably there is something wrong with the instructions."

Wufei chuckled.

"Sure there is… Let me look."

He opened the book and studied a while a rather easy model, a horse. After that, he closed the book, took a sheet of brown paper from Duo and folded a neat beautiful paper horse in few seconds. He continued to make something more challenging, while Duo went to pick up small scissors. When Wufei was finished his two-colour fire dragon that stood on it's own legs, Duo had made a long strip of paper full of exactly same silhuettes of gundam deathscythe.

"What's that?"

Duo looked at him.

"What you mean what's that? This is... I don't know what exactly it's name is, but they are made as decoration for children's parties."

He quieted for a second. Wufei probably had never been in one. Then he smirked again.

"I bet you don't know how to make "snowflakes" either! First you take a white paper…"

Wufei was having fun. This was really quite enjoyable way to pass time, cutting tiny pieces of the folded paper and making every time a different looking snowflake. He was laughing for something Duo had said when he suddenly felt a great pain in his abdomen. Duo was immediately alerted from the sudden quietness of his friend.

"Wufei, are you Ok? What's wrong?"

"I'm.. Okay.."

Wufei had to shut his eyes because the stabbing pain. Duo was not fooled a second.

"SALLY! HEERO! QUATRE! SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH WUFEI!"

Duo felt helpless, watching tears slowly run in Wufei's cheeks. Sally took one look in Wufei and went to call an ambulance.

Wufei was rushed in a small private hospital and taken straight to the surgery, where they stopped a small internal bleeding. His blood was tested again and they find out that all Wufei's organs were pushed in their limits to maintain the state Wufei was in. He was ordered in complete bed-rest for the rest of the pregnancy, witch took four weeks.

When Wufei woke up, he was –not a surprise there-, pissed. The last month in bed? Were they kidding? Could he at least spend the time in the house, in his own bed and not this god awful hospital room?

minus 31 days

Arrangements were made for Wufei to return to the house as soon as possible. He didn't move back to his own room, since the stairs in there were too steep, in everyone's (except Wufei's) opinion. His new room was much closer to the kitchen and living room. – And bathroom. He was ordered to spend his time in bed, were the others brought him tons of books, CD's, Play Station 8 and a laptop. Heero had actually went and bought him one, with a wireless internet connection. Duo was kind of jealous of Heero for thinking that first. The boys also spent a lot of their time in Wufei's new room. This morning he was reading when he heard somebody coming in.

"Trowa? What's up?"

He was surprised to see that Trowa had come in alone. Trowa stood before him his hands in his pockets

.

"I had come here to ask you something. It's for me and Quatre. actually, but I decided to come alone in case you say no. You decided to give the child to adoption, yes?"

Trowa got Wufei's full attention.

He continued. "We, Quatre and I, are a couple, you know that. Would you consider giving the child to us to adopt?"

The words were rushed. Wufei could not remember the last time he had seen Trowa uncertain.

"But.. You are seventeen. And there is a war still going on... "

"I know, I know. But me and Quatre are going to spend the rest of our lives together. The war is ending, I can feel it in the air. We could take leave of absence for awhile and then two of Quatre's sisters would take care of him and then we would be right back and... Please?"

"I have to think about it. Give me a couple of days, okay?"

"Okay, thanks."

Trowa left the room relieved. At least he didn't say no right there. He knew he should give Wufei time to decide, but it was hard, hoping and fearing so much in the same time. He knew that Duo had at least thought the same thing, adoption, a moment, but Trowa knew what Duo's feelings were towards Wufei and that if Duo would take an interest towards the child he would loose Wufei forever. Trowa also knew he had put Wufei in a really tough situation. If he said no, the relations between him, Trowa and Quatre would probably never be the same. If he said yes, he was in a risk of either fell in a situations where he would be forced to meet his biological child or to alienate himself for the rest of them to avoid doing so.

Left alone, Wufei buried his face in his hands. What I am going to do?

minus 7 hours

The four waiting young men crowded the little private waiting room with their presence. They had actually joked about this beforehand, but in the real situation they behaved just like in all those stereotypical stories about fathers in waiting rooms. Duo paced, Quatre tried to busy himself by getting everyone stacked with coffee and snacks. When not negotiating with the vending machine, he stared at Trowa, who stared back. Heero tried to concentrate on "New York Times Sunday Crossword Puzzles All Time Favourites" in his laptop.

The delivery went as good as it would have in the situation. Sally had recommended

Wufei to choose the operation to be done in a local anesthetic, where the risks were at minimum. Wufei had choose it to be done in total anesthesia. He just wanted to fall asleep and then later wake up. Period.

Sally was with the surgery team the whole time, officially to make sure that information about the surgery would not leak, but she felt that the real reason was because Wufei wanted somebody he trusted to be there.

Zero

She was the first to hold the tiny baby girl, all pink with dark brown eyes and fuzzy black hair. She might not be 100% from Asian ancestors, but she sure looked like it. She kissed her forehead.

"Welcome to the world, sweety. "

She didn't want to give her to the nurse, but it was necessary and she knew that telling the good news would be almost as fun as holding her. She changed to normal clothes and went to see the boys.

"You can all relax now, both Wufei and the baby girl are fine."

plus 6 hours

Duo found Quatre crying in a waiting room.

"Why are you crying? Everything is well. Have you seen the girl? She is beautiful, looks just like her father.. Sorry."

"That's why I'm crying for. I'm so afraid. She is so beautiful and helpless and perfect and looks just like Wufei. What if he decides to keep her anyway? It's his right."

Duo hugged the crying blond.

"Wufei refused to see her. He has no emotional ties for her and he won't even see her at all. Just take her home, Quatre.

"You don't understand. The law says that the parents have a month to change their minds, and they got it even if they don't want it. It's for the protection of the biological parents, that they would not regret a hasty decision later. So now me and Trowa have to wait a month before we can be absolutely sure that she will be our child. I try not to get too emotionally attached to her, but I already love her... "

"Oh, Quatre…" Duo tried to comfort him. "I swear that when Wufei says he won't take her away, he really means it."

Duo knocked on Wufei's private room and entered. Wufei was sleeping and Duo could not make himself to wake him. Not that he would have been hesitant to wake him, but it was so much easier for him, Duo, to just let him sleep. He had forced himself to come and face Wufei and now he had did it, never mind that he let himself escape from the confrontation by not disturbing Wufei's sleep. He took a moment to steal the image of peace in Wufei's face. Then he took in the surroundings. Roses. Dozens and dozens of red, perfect roses. Quatre didn't sent them. Sally didn't sent them. He, Heero or Trowa didn't sent them. Red roses…

"Oh, FUCK!"


	9. Chapter 9

Duo rushed out from the hospital and to the parking lot. He paced aroud, trying to decide what to do. Did the others notice? If they did, I would have heard it by now. Wufei don't know, and if it would be up to me, he would never find out.

Duo stopped. Wait a minute… There was no card, no mysterious phone call, no tanks and helicopters. We weren't supposed to notice. Maybe it was only a gesture and not a threat. So it really was up to him to tell Wufei, -or, not. 'Fei wouldn't want to hear it. Right? He would just keep his mouth shut and keep an eye on situation. He would tell Trowa when (if, a little voice in Duo's head chirped nervously.) the adoption would be clear. If this thing blows up, the others will kill me. Let them. I'm protecting Wu here.

Two weeks after the operation Wufei was released from the hospital. The baby girl stayed there in the small private hospital, officially in the custody of the social service. The pilots had at first feared that the actual gender of the "mother" could have leaked, but money had power everywhere, especially in the hospital that had a word "Winner" in it's name. Quatre and Trowa stayed at the hospital, practically living in the same room with the baby. Duo and, to both Wufei's and Duo's surprise, Heero kept close company on Wufei at all times. Wufei felt empty, sad and relieved. He admitted to himself that he felt like something was missing. He knew it was partially because he had no more the enormous amount of extra hormones in his bloodstream. I have the baby blues but without the baby. He was so depressed that he had given in for Sally's and Duo's pressure and kept the antidepressive medication going for the time being.

Duo almost had a nervous breakdown because of the roses. As the roses dried and were cleaned away and nothing else showed up, he let himself to breathe again. No one else had noticed anything out of the ordinary and he was tempted to just label it as a over-creative imagination. Still he felt like balancing on a wire. One more reason to tell Trowa. Bad joke, bad joke…

Wufei lived quietly for the two weeks it took to wait the "second thought period" to end. He packed away the loose clothes and after that they just disappeared -Duo suspected probably by Heero's actions-. Wufei cleaned the house of every extra medication bottle he could find. He cut his hair, witch had grown over length in nine months, so the ponytail was only few inches again. The final day to change his mind came and went without any notification. Well, except from Duo, who disappeared for that day. He was sorry that he could not be there for Wufei that day, but he knew that he could not have been able to keep the accuse out off his eyes. Wufei did never ask himself, What if? What if he had kept it? He had forbidden the question from himself both conscious and subconscious level.

Quatre and Trowa named the girl Hope Daisy Winner-Barton.

A month later Duo had managed to drag both Wufei and Heero to the mall to buy new CD's and such. Wufei didn't want to go first, but only because he had slept later than usual and were so in the middle of his two hour daily exercise routine. Only when Duo promised to loan Wufei his whole manga collection for "as long as it takes", the three got going.

Sharon was in no hurry. Her shift would start at thirty minutes and that was plenty of time for just to walk around the mall and look at the people. Three young men walked by, chattering. She just had to turn back to look at them. They looked so familiar, particularly that Chinese in black. Former customers? She couldn't be sure. The boys noticed her staring and turned, staring back with a slightly confused but open faces. Sharon blushed.

"I'm sorry.. I thought I knew you. I probably confused you in someone else. Maybe a sister..?""

Suddenly the one with a braid started to laugh.

"No, we don't have any sisters, won't we, 'Fei?"

Sharon got even more confused, and after more apologies, turned and left, shaking her head. She had definitely met them somewhere before, but where?

The three boys rushed away and find a bench where they collapsed to laugh. "Well, that was.. interesting", Duo managed to say between the bursts. After awhile they calmed down and sobered.

"Ok, what now? I vote for all-you can eat- pizza buffet!"

This time, Duo got what he wanted. He wanted pizza. He wanted three teens, secretly gundam pilots, smile and enjoy the day. He got that too. He looked at Wufei who tried to pick the anchovies out of his pizza a concentrated look in his face. Duo knew that everything would be alright.

plus 64 days

OWARI

**Author's Note:**

> Additional notes:
> 
> 230 for IQ is HUGE. You probably have never even met a person with a IQ that high. In European IQ scale, you can join MENSA when your IQ is over 145.
> 
> In Finland where I live, the mentioned one-month deciding period before you give a baby to adoption is required by law. I think that is a very good thing.
> 
> The name for this fic came from a random CD (How do You Measure a Planet by The Cathering) I happened to listen when finishing this fic, needing something weird in the backround. Yes, I know it sucks to give it a name that has nothing to do with the fic, but it's better than the work title, "The Thing", ne?


End file.
